For years I have been told pregnancy is the most magical time in your life. You become a glowing radiant unicorn who looks flawless, flys down the street, and has a magical basketball with a human growing inside.

Now don’t get me wrong it is ABSOLUTELY magical that we create life form from a mere act of selfish pleasure, but there is nothing radiant about the process. Let’s debunk these myths!

Myth 1: You’re Glowing

For 95% of women they experience the glow down instead of the glow up. In one pregnancy you produce more hormones than you will throughout the entire course of your life causing your skin to go crazy. I broke out in a heat rash on my face and chest, which my partner told me it looked like I have leopracy

(Really helped my self confidence), only to find out my hormones caused this rash which then turned into the worst breakout I’ve ever had. Every doctor I went to said... well your pregnant it’s normal. WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THE CRAZY THINGS THAT HAPPEN!

Myth 2: You must be so happy because your pregnant.

As mentioned in myth one, hormones make you crazy, and crazy people want to kill their partners. Pregnancy hormones take you on a wild rollercoaster of emotions where one second you are clinically depressed, another moment you are having anxiety attacks about the future and having to achieve your life goals while caring for another human, and then you are trying to remember why you wanted to be pregnant in the first place. It’s a scary ride of emotions and according to the third page of google it’s completely normal.

Myth 3: You are so lucky you can now eat whatever you want!

I love how when your pregnant everyone wants to feed you twice the amount of food. Gaining weight whether you are pregnant or not DOES NOT FEEL GOOD. It feels bad when you see unwanted change on your body. When you are pregnant for 60% of the pregnancy you are eating for 1.02 people aka the baby is not gaining weight, YOU are! So when you eat that extra meal or slice of pizza it’s you that are putting on the lbs not the baby. When you see your belly growing, it’s hard to embrace the change, you want to fight it, when you can’t distinguish your butt from your back because your love handles are so big, you don’t think “awww baby is getting so big,” you think I’m FAP ( Fat And Pregnant).

Myth 4: “Aww your pregnant”-stranger touches belly

HEY DON’T TOUCH ME THERE THIS IS MY NO NO SQUARE. No pregnant women or any human wants to be touched without consent. You wouldn’t walk down the street and ask some dude running to touch his abs, don’t ask some pregnant women to rub her belly. It will not grant you good luck, and no person wants to be touched by a stranger.

Myth 5: You must dream in rainbows and butterflies

Back to the idea of pregnant woman being magical unicorns, which they are because they are creating a human life, which is more than anyone can do on the planet, they unfortunately do not dream in rainbows and butterflies, but instead in night terrors and horror films. Pregnancy hormones increase dream recall, the vividness of the dreams, and the frequency. Dreams feel like a surreal world as if you were an avatar plugged into an alternate reality where only the most terrifying things happen. When you wake up it’s so surreal you aren’t sure if you played the protagonist in the latest horror series on Netflix or if that was actually real life.

Pregnancy is a wild, crazy experience and anything that is done or said while a woman is pregnant should not be held against her. Her body is being over taken by another human with more testosterone and estrogen than 100 years of life.

5 “Glow Up” Myths of Pregnancy